Archive for the ‘reflections’ Category
Multiplicity
It’s been almost two months since I last wrote anything here. Quite frankly, I have no idea that people still visit this place, nor do I think that anyone cares if I’m still around or not. The recent shortage of resources barred me from actively participating in a lot of things I love, such as photography and blogging, and therefore a forced, unannounced hiatus was therefore automatically in place.
Until now.
Still, it won’t be easy.
I left some unfinished business for a new position just to take care of the difficult situation I am in, and now that I am committed to this new position the unfinished business is still left unfinished. Should I want to attend to the unfinished business, which by itself would require a lot of my time, I would have to abandon this new position I have. But I need this new position for self-sustenance and independence. To dedicate my time to both these things would require me to be in two places at once.
Sometimes I wish there were two of me.
Imagine being able to be two persons doing two different things at two different locations.
Oh, I don’t need to imagine. Michael Keaton. Multiplicity.
Maybe it will make things easier and simpler. Or harder and more complicated.
Until we can figure out instant cloning of human physiology and memory (not to mention the human soul), I guess my occasional wish for having two of me would just remain a wish (more like a rant).
The Innocence of Youth
“The young cannot be blamed for not knowing what it’s like to be old, but the old is guilty of forgetting what it’s like to be young”
Or something of the sort. Guess where the quote came from, for bragging rights.
Innocence. I can’t help but notice how little children emanate their glow of youthful innocence whenever they have fun.
They are honest and frank. They do not deviously insult nor flatter. They speak their minds and express their honest opinion on anything, without fear of being judged.
Kids don’t wear a mask on their faces. They cry when they are sad, and laugh when they are happy. They don’t pretend to be excited when they’re not, and when they do become excited, they honestly are.
When they do things to make you happy, you know they’re not doing them because they had to. They do them because they want to. And seing your happy face, in turn, makes them happy as well. And that is enough for everyone, both you and them.
I long for the same youthful innocence, for I feel like it has left me for quite some time.
Ninety Percent of the Way to Thirty
February 16th was my 27th birthday so the family got together for a small celebration.
The chocolate mousse cake that was completely devoured within two minutes. Because the whole family was busy with preparations and other stuff, I went to town and bought the cake myself. Glad I picked this one because usually at the end of the birthday celebration we ended up with a big chunk of uneaten cake, but this time my cake was the first one to be gone from the food table. I have chosen wisely…
The birthday feast was a simple lineup: chocolate mousse cake, mashed potato with mushroom gravy, salad with hard-boiled eggs, tomato and sliced cheese, turmeric fried chicken, and sliced oranges (Happy Chinese New Year of the Tiger, btw!)
Cutting the cake. As always, Abu my brother refuses to smile in the picture. He does this deliberately sometimes. The frown doesn’t necessarily mean he’s upset, he just wants to make a face in the picture.
This is my excuse for being overweight =). Whenever I’m home, there’s such an abundance of wonderfully cooked meals that I find it hard to restrain myself from finishing up leftovers. My family feeds me well =)
Some of the presents. My sisters like to prepare and wrap each present themselves. Plus they always make (and not buy) the birthday card so it has a personal touch that you can never get from a card purchased from the store.
They spelled ‘successful’ wrong. My sister said it was deliberate. Yeah right =D
The symbolic t-shirt. The absent present (oxymoron!) was represented by the mock t-shirt my sister made. The actual t-shirt was left in our apartment in Seri Kembangan.
Mya gave me a personalized t-shirt with my family nickname on it spelt in Korean. Besan (or Abesan) is a portmanteau of the Kelantanese word ‘Abe’ (means big brother) and the last part of my name, ‘San’ (from ‘Ihsan’).
Milah and Shaz gave me a pair of Crocs. Each half of the pair was individually wrapped in two different presents, which meant that they each gave me half a pair =D. I guess in some ways, it meant that I have to use both their gifts equally and am not able to prefer one over the other… maybe. I thought that was quite amusing =)
Another personalized birthday card made by my sisters, with a two-layer birthday cake and a pair of candles shaped like the number ’27′.
There are presents yet to be received, and those are the ones I am quite excited about!
I am so grateful to my beloved family for the wonderful celebration this year. I have to say this is one of the best that I’ve had in a long time =)
Thanks for all the presents and the well-wishes. I am ninety percent of the way to being thirty. The past three-cubed years have been a journey, and I’m glad I got to share those years with my family and friends, and you guys, my blogreaders.
Thank you for those who’ve been there for me, both in body and in spirit. Those that I haven’t seen for quite a while, do know that I really miss you and would love to have you around. I’ve had nothing but wonderful times with everyone and I hope we get to make more wonderful memories in the coming years.
Here’s to being three to three-oh.
Cheers!
Conference, Journal, Wedding, Photography, Repairs, Basketball, Life.
Just listing what I’m currently having and will be having in the next few days…
Work Related To-Dos
Finish writing up the first draft of the paper for FEOFS 2010 conference (deadline tonight)
Prepare for pre-viva presentation (deadline Friday 12 January, 3pm postponed to March)
Search for local experts on genetic algorithm (deadline end of February)
Prepare a journal manuscript for a high-impact applied mathematics journal (deadline end of February)
Prepare a preliminary draft of Master’s thesis (deadline end of February)
Perform more analysis on fatigue data recently acquired (by end of February)
Prepare slides for the paper to be presented at the conference in Cambridge, UK (by this weekend)
Other To-Dos
Attend wedding of Baizurah and Solehuddin (Saturday 13 February)
Photography assignment with Fahmi and Syazwani (Sunday 14 February)
Pay electricity bill at TNB Subang Jaya (Thursday or next week)
Deliver Wacom Intuos3 to Mailal (Friday night 12 February)
Have-Dones
Air-conditioner repair, power steering and engine maintenance for the Waja (cost: RM1600)
Replace burnt out lightbulbs in the Waja (cost: RM40)
Integrate a population diversity analysis function into the GA clustering method (cost: a headache)
Prepare slides for GUP research progress report
Life’s hectic, but I guess it’s less mundane that way. Still, I need more spice in my life, in my opinion. Maybe a return to playing basketball? It’s been quite a while since I last went shooting hoops. I miss it terribly sometimes.
My Birthday Wish-item
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If I can only get one birthday present this year, it would be this:
Nikkor AF-S 35mm f/1.8G
(A short snippet by Peter Tan here)
Seeing as lots of others got their birthday wishes this year, I wonder if I deserve to get mine this time…
…
And someone deserves my apology. It seems that I have been quite a nuisance to her. Every essence of my presence seems to have struck her like an unbearable stench. I will stay away now. I’m sorry for having been too much of a bother to your life. Please forgive me for being a thorn in your side all this time.
My Personal Views on the ‘Allah’ Issue
I suggest that, for those who have little or no idea of what the issue is about, the following articles be read first because otherwise none of what I’m about to say will make sense to you.
CNN Article — Malaysia: Churches firebombed amid Allah dispute
AFP Article — Malaysia defends Allah stance amid new church attack
BBC Article — More Malaysian churches attacked in Allah dispute
Or you can google ‘Malaysia’ and ‘Allah’ and look at the news results if you have several hours to spare.
Below is a verbatim copy of what I wrote in an online forum with regards to the issue. Please bear in mind that this was written in the usual communicative form of Malay and may not be understood immediately by some who are new to the language, or have mastery of Bahasa Indonesia. Since what I have to say here mostly applies to Malays and Malaysians, I shall have it remain untranslated, unless I receive requests to have it translated.
…
Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim
pendapat peribadi saya je la ya…
1. byk lagi perkara lain yang boleh melumpuhkan akidah umat islam selain penggunaan kalimah Allah dalam penerbitan Katolik, malah perkara2 lain ini lebih teruk lagi (bomoh, khurafat, judi, arak, tenung nasib, nombor ekor, hedonisme, dsb)
2. masalah penggunaan kalimah Allah ini lebih bersifat lokal di mana ia cuma memberi masalah bagi kaum melayu sahaja. bagi umat islam secara keseluruhannya di dunia ini, tiada masalah kerana ‘Allah’ adalah bermaksud ‘God’ dalam bahasa arab. di serata dunia perkataan ini digunakan untuk merujuk kepada ‘tuhan’ tak kira agama apa sekalipun. Tetapi biasanya digunakaan untuk Tuhan Yang Esa (yakni yg dirujuk oleh agama2 samawi seperti yahudi, islam dan kristian)
3. maka ancaman ini bukan satu ancaman terhadap islam secara keseluruhannya, tetapi adalah sesuatu yang boleh menjadi punca kekeliruan bagi kaum melayu. ini kerana bagi kaum Melayu, perkataan ‘Allah’ hanya digunakan dalam konteks Islam sahaja.
4. bagi saya, adalah perlu untuk diwujudkan garis panduan atau undang2 yang menetapkan secara mutlak bagaimana penggunaan kalimah ‘Allah’ ini dibenarkan dalam negara Malaysia (spt yg saya katakan sebelum ini, ini adalah masalah lokal bukan global)
5. segelintir orang terlalu cepat melatah dgn isu seperti ini sehingga terjadinya perkara2 yang ditegah dalam islam seperti merosakkan rumah2 ibadat. bagi saya, isu ini bukan ancaman yang sebesar ancaman2 lain terhadap akidah umat islam khususnya melayu (seperti yang dinyatakan di no. 1). ini sama juga seperti yang berlaku sewaktu penerbitan gambar2 kartun yang merujuk kepada Rasulullah s.a.w.
6. adalah penting bagi kita umat islam untuk mempersiapkan akidah masing2 supaya tidak tergugat dengan perkara2 yang seperti ini. jgnlah kita terlalu jahil sehingga tidak dapat membezakan Allah, tuhan sekelian alam yang kita sembah dengan ‘Allah’ dalam penerbitan katolik. sekiranya kita terkeliru, itu menunjukkan kelemahan akidah kita sendiri.
7. bagi saya, penyelesaian yang baik adalah supaya digubal undang2 yang menetapkan bahawa kalimah Allah adalah untuk merujuk kepada tuhan sekelian alam seperti yang dirujuk dalam agama Islam, dan tidak boleh merujuk kepada entiti ketuhanan lain dalam agama2 lain. ini untuk mengelakkan kekeliruan serta kekacauan dalam keharmonian masyarakat majmuk di Malaysia.
8. juga kita jgn terlalu ‘bara’ sgt nak bela islam dgn menimbulkan kekacauan antara kaum, sedangkan ibadah khusus serta persiapan akidah kita masing2 sendiri masih lagi tak terbela. perlu diingat, jihad yang paling utama adalah jihad melawan hawa nafsu.
9. perlu ingat juga bahawa tiada yang milik kita di dunia ini, segala2nya adalah hak allah semata2.
semoga kita semua dilimpahi hidayahNya serta diberi petunjuk ke jalan yang benar. maaf kalau ada pendapat saya yang menyentuh sensitiviti sesiapa.
…
I am interested to hear what you have to say regarding this matter (and for those who understood my post, regarding what I said in this matter).
Mac OS X – Hisham
Looking at the photos in my previous post (CLS at the Beach), I realized that this photo of Hisham jumping…
Image courtesy of productwiki.com
Caterpillar Closeup
I am glad that I discovered my interests in photography. Ever since I started picking up the camera, especially so since I got my Nikon D60, I realized that I paid more attention to the oft missed world of the minuscule. Those of you who have been with my blog for a while would know how much I like taking pictures of small creepy crawlies (to the delight and also dismay of some). My hobby has opened my eyes to the almost invisible, mostly ignored, and largely unnoticed minute details in the world around us. Sometimes I feel sad that most of us would miss seeing the beauty in the small things. We can discover a lot from viewing the most mundane things up close. And sometimes, creatures we regard as creepy or ugly can reveal their true beauties when we scale ourselves down to their size and try to see them eye to eye.
I was walking around in my apartment when I almost stepped on this little green caterpillar. It wasn’t a big squishy caterpillar that one might find featured as a grub delicacy in some foreign place. It was pretty small, less than an inch long and definitely thinner than a satay stick. I picked it up from the white tile floor and set it on a thin stack of white paper. And of course, I ran over to the trusty ol’ camera bag and grabbed my arsenal to shoot this little bug.
The little bugger was hard to photograph. It kept moving and wriggling and turning its head to different directions (probably trying to find its way to the edge of the paper). Because I used the reverse lens technique, the caterpillar’s movement meant that it gets out of focus easily, and I had difficulty keeping it in focus. Out of the many, some are pretty decent and shareable. One of them is this side profile of the caterpillar. To tell you the truth, I’m not even sure where the eyes of this caterpillar were. What I noticed is that it’s got some strands of hair sticking out from various parts of its body including the head. The hair strands were sparsely distributed, unlike other hairy caterpillars. Maybe this was a youngin’, soon it’ll grow a full body of hair and closeup fanatics like me would keep away from it for a change.
Here’s one where you can see the ‘face’ of the caterpillar. I still am not sure where its eyes were.
Another perspective on how small this caterpillar was: you can actually see the thin side of the white paper for size reference. The white paper was a normal printing paper. Grab a printing paper and look at its thickness. Now look at the picture. You’ll get a rough sense of the size of the caterpillar and how small it was.
…
I suddenly am reminded of the story where King Solomon’s (Sulaymaan A.S.) troops were passing through the Wadi Naml (the valley of the ants, if I’m not mistaken) and how the King made sure his troops would avoid stepping on the small insects. This story tells us to appreciate the lives of Allah’s creatures no matter how small. And that collateral deaths, no matter how insignificant the people/creatures killed may seem to be, should be avoided to our best efforts.
…
Have a wonderful day, everyone! Hope you liked the pics. And sorry to those who don’t.
The Lone Mushroom
It was a few weeks ago during a family day in Putrajaya that I stumbled upon this peculiar lone mushroom on the ground.
There were no other mushrooms within visual distance.
For a mushroom to be growing here solo, there could be several possibilities: a) One single spore managed to be carried by the wind all the way to this place while the rest were carried elsewhere, b) Neighboring mushrooms were already picked or disposed of, c) The rest of the spores did not manage to grow into a mushroom except this one.
Whatever backstory that the mushroom must have had, it managed to tell me one thing: Life goes on, even when you have to face it all alone.
But, indeed, as a Muslim, I need not fear facing the harsh dealings of this world all alone, for I know when everything else turn their backs on me, I can always turn to Allah for guidance.
I believe in the power of prayers. I have had several answered, both instantly and eventually. And for this I am thankful.
And I believe there are hidden blessings in every thing that most of the time escape our senses and our thoughts.
The lone mushroom did not escape me. It captured me and managed to make me think, and that in itself is another blessing.
